I was expected to get straight A’s.
Work hard.
Stay out of trouble.
Become independent.
Priscilla was encouraged to “find herself.”
When I succeeded, my parents considered it normal.
When Priscilla did almost anything, they celebrated it.
My parents attended her art shows.
They helped her with projects.
They paid for supplies.
They gave her spending money.
They supported her whenever she announced a new passion.
Meanwhile, they missed my high school graduation because Priscilla had a pottery workshop.
I remember standing there in my graduation gown, looking through the crowd and realizing that neither of my parents was sitting where I expected them to be.
At sixteen, I won a statewide architecture competition.
I was incredibly proud of myself.
My father looked at the certificate and asked whether I could use the prize money to pay my college application fees.
That was how encouragement worked in our family.
I was expected to find a way.
When Priscilla failed her driving test for the third time, my parents bought her an Audi.
I worked three jobs.
I graduated with a 4.0 GPA.
I earned a full scholarship to NC State.
Priscilla barely graduated, bounced between unfinished classes and passion projects, and received $700 a month from our parents.
When I graduated summa cum laude and landed my first architecture job, my mother hugged me and said:
“Well, at least you’ll be able to support yourself now.”
I smiled at the time.
Years later, I understood exactly what she meant.
They weren’t proud that I had succeeded.
They were relieved that my success meant they wouldn’t have to help me.
Three years ago, I bought the beach house.
I had saved $95,000.
Then I sold my condo and added another $65,000.
After months of searching and negotiating, I found the property I wanted in the Outer Banks.
The asking price was higher, but I negotiated the purchase down to $1.45 million.
It was a beautiful place.
Large windows.
Ocean views.
A wide deck overlooking the water.
It wasn’t just an expensive house to me.
It was the physical result of everything I had spent years working toward.
Within eighteen months, the property’s value had climbed to approximately $1.6 million.
I was proud of it.
